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Album: Anonymous Confessions of a Lunatic Friend
Whoa, ha ha!
Now, this is the story of a lower-middle class,
American preacher's kid who found
that we don't always do all the right things
for the right reasons.
Now my Dad is the finest man of God
to ever grace the pulpit
of a small Pentecostal church.
To tell the truth,
I was born on Saturday
and in church on Sunday,
and I guarantee I was never late.
'Cause Mom was the organ player
and the Sunday School teacher,
while I took up the offering.
They would always make me give it back.
And as a child, I had the honor of sittin'
in the front row for
the first five minutes of every sermon.
That's usually how long it took to be
called up to the platform for the express
purpose of keeping me from escaping under the pews.
And there I would sit, behind the pulpit,
and count ceiling tiles for the next hour and a half.
Like most people, over the years,
I got used to the pressure of sayin'
and doin' all the right things
whether I believed it or not.
'Cause if I didn't I had the largest gathering
of elderly ladies ever to act upon
their moral obligation to report everything
I ever said or did.
So, you can understand why
I loved goin' to the youth conventions,
'cause it proved beyond that
shadow of a doubt there were girls
goin' to church who were under
sixty-five years of age.
And suddenly there she was,
fourth row back, on the left,
in the choir, the absolute dream
of every kid ever to seek permission
to borrow the family car!
Mr. Bailey has a daughter
Hopin' she'll notice me
Got me singin' in the choir
Volunteerin' my time for free
Now I'm prayin' for revival
Workin' at livin' right
Man, I never looked more sanctified
At church on Sunday night
Now, it's amazing what'll turn
your life around in a hurry.
Overnight I'd come to realize
what it meant, wrong or right,
to be motivated. I was captivated.
I was serious. I was hearin' voices!
And all the things I'd been doin'
for years took on a whole new significance.
You see, now I was out to please
someone besides myself.
I was convinced she was an angel from Heaven.
Who knows? She might have been.
She disappeared fast enough!
But now look who's still here tryin'
to do all the right things,
and maybe sometimes even
for the right reasons! Break it down!
From the hearts of beggars to the hearts of Kings
The heart's the greatest of deceitful things
Expose what's wicked in the minds of man
You can count to twenty and it's back again
Mr. Bailey has a daughter
Hopin' she'll notice me
Got me singin' in the choir
Volunteerin' my time for free
Now I'm prayin' for revival
Workin' at livin' right
Man, I never looked more sanctified
At church on Sunday night
Mr. Bailey has a daughter
Hopin' she'll notice me
Got me singin' in the choir
Volunteerin' my time for free
Now I'm prayin' for revival
Workin' at livin' right
Man, I never looked more sanctified
At church on Sunday night
Find your place in the games we play
No one's safe when it's safe to say
The perfect motive has another, ulterior
Check yours twice when you're feelin' superior
Mr. Bailey has a daughter
Hopin' she'll notice me
Got me singin' in the choir
Volunteerin' my time for free
Now I'm prayin' for revival
Workin' at livin' right
Man, I never looked more sanctified
At church on Sunday night, now
Mr. Bailey has a daughter
Hopin' she'll notice me
Got me singin' in the choir
Volunteerin' my time for free
Now I'm prayin' for revival
Workin' at livin' right
Man, I never looked more sanctified
At church on Sunday night
From the hearts of beggars to the hearts of Kings
The heart's the greatest of deceitful things
Expose what's wicked in the minds of man
You can count to twenty and it's back again
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