Not The Way I Want To Be by Blackball

Super Heavy Dreamscape by Blackball

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Not The Way I Want To Be
by Blackball

Album: Super Heavy Dreamscape

Well I'd like to help you now
but I think I'm just too broken
To rebuild again would cost me more
of all these things I choke in

And it's not the way I want it to be
but I'm blind in the places I thought I could see
And weak in the mind and the soul of the man
And it's hard to explain cuz' I don't understand
I guess I'm weaker than I wanted to be
weaker than I thought I was
There's nothing in the world that's free
it's all too much for me
And it's not the way I want it to be
cuz' what I wanted to be I just can't find within me

Well I'd love to help you out
but how could you hear me now
When you see me fall
and watch it all
I don't think that I know how

And it's not the way I want it to be
and I wonder if you're cut by the ways that I bleed
So I wish that I could stand all alone
but there's no part of the body that move on it's own
So I guess it's too late to complain about
you heard enough of the truth that you figured it out
And it's not the way I want it to be
cuz' what I wanted to be I just can't find within me

This is not the way I want it to be
I might be the only part of Christ that somebody sees
And it's the only hope I know how to give you
and it's just too much for me to live up to
And I never wanted to be the one you see
I'm not the best one for showing you the things I believe
and it's not the way I want it to be
but what I wanted to be I just can't find within me